I'm going to tell you a little story.
On Saturday evening, when I wrote this blog post, I truly felt in the depths of despair. It was as if suddenly the full magnitude of what has happened finally hit me. I actually thought it had before, but I was wrong. There must have been a part of me that had put up some kind of screen against it because on Saturday I really felt it. I cried for hours, I felt traumatised by everything I'd seen and gone through, I felt alone, sad, devastated. Thinking of the fact that he just isn't here anymore made me feel sick.
I was looking at a photo of him I have in my wallet. It's been there for years; a little passport photo he gave me. I sat there on my bed staring at it through my tears, and then I remembered something someone told me the other week, "You have a great Guardian Angel watching over you now". Or words to that effect. So I said out loud to Leon, "You have to be my Guardian Angel now, you have to help guide me because I don't know what I'm going to do..."
Fast forward to today and Monday morning. I could hear the postman struggling to fit something through the letterbox. It eventually fell through and I went to pick it up. It was a package from the Netherlands; something I was expecting (although not so soon) because a new friend of mine called Angelique had told me she had something she wanted to send me. I had no idea what it was. I opened the package and inside was a beautiful card.
Inside the card was a little drawstring bag.
And inside the bag was a little silver Guardian Angel.
"To protect me in difficult times and to give me strength whenever I need it".
So on Saturday night I asked for a Guardian Angel, and on Monday morning one turns up on my doorstep. From Angelique, who I've only known since Leon became very ill.
This little Angel will travel everywhere with me now. I will treasure her. She's sitting propped up against my MacBook while I type this blog post, watching me.
Isn't it strange how things happen sometimes?